DBT Values Worksheet: How to Clarify What Matters Using DBT

A DBT values worksheet is a structured self-reflection exercise that helps you identify what genuinely matters to you — things like family, honesty, or health — and then translate those values into clear priorities and concrete actions. It is used in Dialectical Behavior Therapy to help people build a life that feels worth living, rather than one driven by passing moods or impulsive reactions. This page is the worksheet itself: an on-page exercise you can work through right now, no PDF download required.

This is different from the philosophical values that drive DBT as a therapy — radical acceptance, dialectics, validation, and so on. Those are the principles your therapist works from. This worksheet is about your personal values: the deeply held priorities that, once you name them, can guide the decisions you make day to day.

What a DBT Values Worksheet Is

A DBT values worksheet walks you through values clarification — the process of naming what you actually care about and using it as a compass for your choices. Most versions move through the same arc: brainstorm the domains of your life, pick the values that matter most, rank them, honestly rate how aligned your current life is with each one, and then turn each value into a small, specific action you can take.

The goal is not to produce a perfect list. It is to slow down enough to notice the difference between what you think you should value, what you value because of habit or other people's expectations, and what you genuinely care about when you check in with your wise mind — the calm, grounded part of you that can see clearly.

In DBT, this exercise usually lives inside the emotion regulation module, where building positive experiences and working toward valued goals are explicit skills. But you do not need to be in formal therapy to benefit from it. The worksheet below is something you can do with a notebook and twenty quiet minutes.

Why Values Clarification Matters in DBT

When emotions run high, decisions tend to get hijacked. You cancel plans because of a low mood, snap at someone you love because you are flooded, or make an impulsive choice that feels urgent in the moment and regrettable an hour later. DBT calls this living from emotion mind — letting the loudest feeling drive the bus.

Values give you something steadier to steer by. Marsha Linehan, who developed DBT, framed the entire therapy around the idea of building a life worth living. You cannot build toward a life worth living if you have never paused to define what worth living means for you specifically. That definition is exactly what a values worksheet produces.

Clarified values help in three concrete ways:

• They reduce mood-driven choices. When you know that "being a reliable friend" is a core value, you have a reason to show up even on a day you do not feel like it.
• They make goals meaningful. A goal disconnected from a value ("I should exercise more") tends to fizzle. A goal anchored to a value ("I want to be strong enough to keep up with my kids") tends to stick.
• They give you a recovery direction. In hard moments, asking "what would the person I want to be do here?" is often more useful than asking "what do I feel like doing?"

Values clarification pairs naturally with radical acceptance: you accept the reality of where you are right now and you choose a direction worth moving toward. Both/and, not either/or.

The Step-by-Step DBT Values Worksheet

Grab paper or open a notes app. Work through the five steps in order. There are no wrong answers — only honest ones.

Step 1: Brainstorm Your Life Domains

Values do not float in the abstract; they show up inside the areas of your life. Start by listing the domains that are relevant to you. Common ones include:

• Family and parenting
• Friendships and community
• Romantic relationships
• Work, career, or education
• Physical health and the body
• Mental and emotional wellbeing
• Spirituality, faith, or meaning
• Recreation, hobbies, and play
• Money and security
• Personal growth and learning
• Contribution, service, or activism

You do not have to use all of these, and you can add your own. For each domain that matters to you, jot a one-line note about what a good version of that area would look like. Do not edit yourself yet — just get it down.

Step 2: Pick Your Core Values From the List

Now move from domains to values — the qualities or principles that matter to you across those domains. Read through the example list below and circle, highlight, or copy out every one that resonates. Aim wide at first; you will narrow down in the next step.

An example DBT values list:

• Honesty
• Family
• Loyalty
• Health
• Independence
• Compassion
• Creativity
• Security
• Adventure
• Kindness
• Courage
• Connection
• Fairness
• Growth
• Faith / spirituality
• Responsibility
• Freedom
• Curiosity
• Generosity
• Authenticity
• Patience
• Achievement
• Stability
• Justice
• Humor
• Self-respect
• Gratitude
• Service to others

Add any value of your own that is not listed. By the end of this step you might have ten to fifteen circled. That is normal.

Step 3: Rank and Prioritize

You cannot live every value at full volume all the time — they sometimes pull against each other (independence vs. connection, achievement vs. rest). Ranking helps you know which way to lean when they conflict.

From your circled list, choose your top five values. Then put them in order, with #1 being the one you would least want to compromise. If you get stuck, try this test: imagine two of your values were in direct conflict in a real situation. Which one would you want to win? That is the higher-ranked one.

Step 4: Rate Your Current Alignment

For each of your top five values, rate how aligned your current life is with it, from 0 (not living this at all) to 10 (living this fully). Be honest, not harsh — this is data, not a verdict.

The gap between a value's importance and your current alignment is the most useful information on the whole worksheet. A value you rank #1 but rate a 3 on alignment is exactly where a small change will create the most relief.

Step 5: Turn Each Value Into One Concrete Action

This is the step most people skip, and it is the one that makes the worksheet actually change anything. For each of your top five values, write down one small, specific action you could take in the next week to move toward it.

Keep the actions tiny and doable. "Become a better friend" is not an action; "text Sam to schedule a coffee" is. This is where values clarification connects to committed action — the practice of taking concrete steps in the direction of what you care about, even when motivation is low.

A Worked Example

Here is how the worksheet might look for someone we will call Mara.

Step 1 — Domains that matter most: family, health, work, friendships.

Step 2 — Values that resonate: family, honesty, health, kindness, security, growth, self-respect, connection.

Step 3 — Top five, ranked:

1. Family
2. Honesty
3. Health
4. Self-respect
5. Connection

Step 4 — Current alignment (0–10):

• Family — 7
• Honesty — 8
• Health — 3
• Self-respect — 4
• Connection — 5

Step 5 — One action each:

• Family — call her mom on Sunday instead of texting.
• Honesty — tell her partner she is overwhelmed rather than pretending she is fine.
• Health — go for one 15-minute walk after work this week.
• Self-respect — say no to one request she does not have capacity for.
• Connection — reply to the friend whose message has been sitting unanswered.

Notice that Mara's biggest gaps — health (3) and self-respect (4) — are where her smallest actions point. She does not need to overhaul her life. She needs one walk and one "no." That is the worksheet doing its job.

Tips for Using the Worksheet Well

• Use wise mind, not emotion mind. Do the exercise when you are reasonably settled, not in the middle of a crisis. If you are activated, ground yourself first — a few minutes of paced breathing or a short break — then return to it.
• Separate your values from other people's. Ask of each one: "Is this mine, or is it what I was told I should care about?" Inherited values are not automatically wrong, but they are worth noticing.
• Expect your list to evolve. Values shift with life stage, loss, and growth. A list you make at 25 will not match the one you make at 45.
• Let the action be small. The point is momentum, not transformation in a single week.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

• Listing goals instead of values. "Get promoted" is a goal; "doing work I'm proud of" is the value underneath it. Goals can be completed; values are ongoing directions.
• Picking values you think you should hold. A worksheet full of admirable-sounding values you do not actually feel will not guide you. Honesty here is the whole point.
• Skipping Step 5. A list of values with no actions attached is a nice piece of self-knowledge that changes nothing. Always land on a concrete next step.
• Using the gap to attack yourself. A low alignment score is a starting point, not evidence of failure. DBT pairs this work with self-compassion on purpose.

How This Connects to DBT Skills and ACT Values Work

Values clarification sits at the intersection of two evidence-based therapies. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), naming values supports the emotion regulation module's emphasis on building positive experiences and working toward a life worth living. It also leans on core DBT skills: you use wise mind to identify what truly matters, and you use the full DBT skill set to keep acting on your values when emotions try to pull you off course.

Values work is even more central in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), where it is one of the six core processes. If you found this exercise useful, our guide to values clarification in ACT goes deeper into the theory and offers additional reflection prompts. The two approaches use slightly different language, but the underlying move is the same: figure out what you care about, then take committed steps toward it.

A worksheet is a self-reflection tool, not treatment. If you are dealing with serious distress — intense emotional dysregulation, self-harm, or thoughts of suicide — this exercise is not a substitute for professional care. It works best as one part of a fuller plan, ideally alongside a trained DBT therapist. For younger clients, structured values work is often woven into DBT for teens.

Frequently Asked Questions

Where to Go Next

You have a list of values and at least one action for each — that is the worksheet's whole purpose. From here:

• Read DBT values: the core principles to understand the philosophy your therapist works from
• Explore DBT skills explained for the full toolkit that helps you act on your values
• Use wise mind to check in with the grounded part of you that knows what matters
• Go deeper with values clarification in ACT and committed action
• Learn more about Dialectical Behavior Therapy as a whole

The list is just the start. The life worth living is built one small, value-aligned action at a time.